Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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