Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
