you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
