I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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