I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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