Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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