Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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