She went from zero to smokin in five shots
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize