I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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