I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
