Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize