Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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