Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
