it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
