i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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