I looked at my own cervix.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
where are my eyebrows?
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