another moral hangover. fuck.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
