Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
