he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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