Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Farmville is her only friend.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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