by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
