I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
