the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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