I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
