you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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