I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
