You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
