So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You pole danced in your parka.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
