i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
