It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
