I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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