these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
