He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
