Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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