I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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