Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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