Kiss
Puke
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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