Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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