Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
