why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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