I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
