sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
