We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
