i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize