I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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