More tranny stories later!
no, he came in my armpit
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
