Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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