we have officially lost it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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