guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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