P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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