Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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