it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
