I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
