In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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