Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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