I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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