I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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