At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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