did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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