there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
