I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
